You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
that is very illegal...i love you.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
please don't ironically join a cult
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