Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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