Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
