Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
