Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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