she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
