Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
