Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
