More tranny stories later!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
