my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize