I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
