I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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