what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
