i just wanna soil my oats bro
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
