So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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