I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize