idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
