On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
