just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You made out with two different species that night
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
