I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
