Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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