so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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