Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
