You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
