So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
