WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
