Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I could make wine with my vomit
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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