I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
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