Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
