Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
