What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
