are you so shy because you have an std?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
