when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
