So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize