gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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