so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
