I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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