We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
