my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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