We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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