The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
is that a dick in a sweater?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
