Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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