ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
