We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Randomize
