Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just puked most of my soul out..
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