We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
