Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
