You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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