Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
