i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize