Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
