The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
