swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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