Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
