They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
