Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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