These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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