you're like a bully in the Christmas story
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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