new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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