Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
