I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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