Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
