Yo dont text me then not text me
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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